Mecvisuals

“You are such a slob. You just expect me to clean up after you.” “You are always working. Work is more important to you than your family.” “You are so frivolous. You just think money grows on trees.” Sound familiar? Arguments about housework, priorities and money are nothing new. In fact, for many couples, they are weekly challenges. But that is exactly why choosing the right words during an argument is so important. Even when you have the best of intentions, what you say can escalate an argument into a full-blown fight and really hurt the one you love. And one of the most common mistakes those in a relationship make with their language is the use of “you-statements.” WHAT IS A “YOU-STATEMENT?” “You-statements,” such as those listed above, are phrases that begin with the pronoun “you” and imply that the listener is responsible for something. They show no ownership of emotions, but rather, blame, accuse and assume the receiver. This type of statement is more likely to make your partner ...

“You are such a slob. You just expect me to clean up after you.” “You are always working. Work is more important to you than your family.” “You are so frivolous. You just think money grows on trees.” Sound familiar? Arguments about housework, priorities and money are nothing new. In fact, for many couples, they are weekly challenges. But that is exactly why choosing the right words during an argument is so important. Even when you have the best of intentions, what you say can escalate an argument into a full-blown fight and really hurt the one you love. And one of the most common mistakes those in a relationship make with their language is the use of “you-statements.” WHAT IS A “YOU-STATEMENT?” “You-statements,” such as those listed above, are phrases that begin with the pronoun “you” and imply that the listener is responsible for something. They show no ownership of emotions, but rather, blame, accuse and assume the receiver. This type of statement is more likely to make y...

T he world runs on one thing: people’s feelings. And no, I don’t mean the coddled, “Oh, we’re spoiling the youth,” safe-space-type feelings. I mean emotions. Emotions rule the world. This is because people primarily spend money on things that make them feel good. And where the money flows, power flows. So, technically, the more you’re able to influence the emotions and feelings of people in the world, the more money and power will accumulate to you. Technology is simply one means of doing this. Technologies are invented for the simple sake of pleasing people. The ball-point pen. A more comfortable seat heater. A better gasket for your house’s plumbing. Fortunes are made and lost around these things because they make people feel better, make their lives easier. Entire economies are run on little more than a population’s whims and fancies. The fact that the world runs on feelings hasn’t always been a bad thing. In the industrial age, it was undoubtedly a good thing. The majority of t...

T he world runs on one thing: people’s feelings. And no, I don’t mean the coddled, “Oh, we’re spoiling the youth,” safe-space-type feelings. I mean emotions. Emotions rule the world. This is because people primarily spend money on things that make them feel good. And where the money flows, power flows. So, technically, the more you’re able to influence the emotions and feelings of people in the world, the more money and power will accumulate to you. Technology is simply one means of doing this. Technologies are invented for the simple sake of pleasing people. The ball-point pen. A more comfortable seat heater. A better gasket for your house’s plumbing. Fortunes are made and lost around these things because they make people feel better, make their lives easier. Entire economies are run on little more than a population’s whims and fancies. The fact that the world runs on feelings hasn’t always been a bad thing. In the industrial age, it was undoubtedly a good thing. The majo...

I write to you not from a place of judgment, but instead I address you based on an immense body of work that has brought me great clarity. The financial support you are offering your adult children is toxic. You are hurting them, you are hurting yourself, and until you realize it’s not money that they need, everyone involved will feel the pain. Think back to when you taught your child to ride her bicycle without training wheels. Who was more scared? The idea of letting go of a toddler rocketing across concrete with little protection is terrifying. If you let go, she will fall — she will bleed. If you don’t, she will never learn to ride the most elementary transportation device since the invention of feet. Once you let go, and she falls and bleeds, she will quickly learn that balance and control equal the absence of pain. At that moment, everyone moves on with their life Assuming your now twenty- or thirty-something can ride their bike without training wheels, what was...

I write to you not from a place of judgment, but instead I address you based on an immense body of work that has brought me great clarity. The financial support you are offering your adult children is toxic. You are hurting them, you are hurting yourself, and until you realize it’s not money that they need, everyone involved will feel the pain. Think back to when you taught your child to ride her bicycle without training wheels. Who was more scared? The idea of letting go of a toddler rocketing across concrete with little protection is terrifying. If you let go, she will fall — she will bleed. If you don’t, she will never learn to ride the most elementary transportation device since the invention of feet. Once you let go, and she falls and bleeds, she will quickly learn that balance and control equal the absence of pain. At that moment, everyone moves on with their life Assuming your now twenty- or thirty-something can ride their bike without training wheels, wha...