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I n 1967, John Lennon wrote a  song  called, “All You Need is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day. Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a  song  called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his grotesque and disturbing videos, got clean from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then cancelled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father. One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not. In our culture, many of us idealize ...

I n 1967, John Lennon wrote a  song  called, “All You Need is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day. Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a  song  called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his grotesque and disturbing videos, got clean from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then cancelled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father. One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not. In our culture, many of us id...

There is no such thing as a ‘nice guy’. There are (1) men who share their flaws upfront & (2) males who hide flaws by acting ‘too nice’. A ‘bad boy’ & a ‘nice guy’ are the exact same manipulative man, playing a cliche role to get girls in bed. Behaving one way in public & another way in private. "The Nice Guy That Exist are the Angels so to speak" Genuine men have balance. He’s nice, yet blunt. Strong, yet calm. Take charge, yet non-controlling. Hood, yet law abiding. Protective, yet not possessive. Romantically aggressive.  A man with no ‘edge’ is hiding a cliffhanger. Here’s how you avoid the plot twist If he’s boring, with no confidence & no assertiveness, he isn’t a ‘nice guy’ just because he texts you everyday. He’s a clingy, narcissistic male. This is why it’s never ok to call a woman ‘female’ or a man ‘male’. ‘Male’ & ‘female’ refers to the physical body only. ‘Man’ & ‘woman’ refers to the spirit we are, which controls the body it’s wrapped in. ...

There is no such thing as a ‘nice guy’. There are (1) men who share their flaws upfront & (2) males who hide flaws by acting ‘too nice’. A ‘bad boy’ & a ‘nice guy’ are the exact same manipulative man, playing a cliche role to get girls in bed. Behaving one way in public & another way in private. "The Nice Guy That Exist are the Angels so to speak" Genuine men have balance. He’s nice, yet blunt. Strong, yet calm. Take charge, yet non-controlling. Hood, yet law abiding. Protective, yet not possessive. Romantically aggressive.  A man with no ‘edge’ is hiding a cliffhanger. Here’s how you avoid the plot twist If he’s boring, with no confidence & no assertiveness, he isn’t a ‘nice guy’ just because he texts you everyday. He’s a clingy, narcissistic male. This is why it’s never ok to call a woman ‘female’ or a man ‘male’. ‘Male’ & ‘female’ refers to the physical body only. ‘Man’ & ‘woman’ refers to the spirit we are, which controls the body it’s w...

I was once sad and lonely, Having nobody to comfort me, So I wore a mask that always smiled, To hide my feelings behind a lie. Before long, I had many friends; With my mask, I was one of them. But deep inside I still felt empty, Like I was missing a part of me. Nobody could hear my cries at night, For I designed my mask to hide the lies. Nobody could see the pain I was feeling, For I designed my mask to be laughing. Behind all the smiles were the tears And behind all the comfort were the fears. Everything you think you see Wasn't everything there was to me. Day by day I was slowly dying. I couldn't go on, There was something missing.. Until now I'm still searching For the thing that'll stop my crying, For someone who'll erase my fears, For the person who'll wipe my tears. But till then, I'll keep on smiling. Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing. Hoping one day I can smile, Till then, I'll be here...waiting.

I was once sad and lonely, Having nobody to comfort me, So I wore a mask that always smiled, To hide my feelings behind a lie. Before long, I had many friends; With my mask, I was one of them. But deep inside I still felt empty, Like I was missing a part of me. Nobody could hear my cries at night, For I designed my mask to hide the lies. Nobody could see the pain I was feeling, For I designed my mask to be laughing. Behind all the smiles were the tears And behind all the comfort were the fears. Everything you think you see Wasn't everything there was to me. Day by day I was slowly dying. I couldn't go on, There was something missing.. Until now I'm still searching For the thing that'll stop my crying, For someone who'll erase my fears, For the person who'll wipe my tears. But till then, I'll keep on smiling. Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing. Hoping one day I can smile, Till then, I'll be here...waiting.

It always seems like it’s the people who have done the worst to you who think you’re doing the worst to them. It’s the deceitful manipulators and the dishonest storytellers who blame other people for being deceitful and dishonest. It’s the cheaters and the liars who always assume they’re being cheated on and lied to. It’s the sh*tty people who can’t help but project all the sh*t they’ve done onto other people. Why does this happen? Why do those who have wronged you feel the need to make you feel worse than you already do? All of this seems counterintuitive since it’s normal to think those who have hurt you — someone they’re supposed to love and care deeply for — would show some kind of remorse and try to mend the pain. Sometimes, however, neither of those things happen. And there’s a real psychological reason. On his blog “Guy Stuff,” marriage and family therapist Kurt Smith discusses the real reas...

It always seems like it’s the people who have done the worst to you who think you’re doing the worst to them. It’s the deceitful manipulators and the dishonest storytellers who blame other people for being deceitful and dishonest. It’s the cheaters and the liars who always assume they’re being cheated on and lied to. It’s the sh*tty people who can’t help but project all the sh*t they’ve done onto other people. Why does this happen? Why do those who have wronged you feel the need to make you feel worse than you already do? All of this seems counterintuitive since it’s normal to think those who have hurt you — someone they’re supposed to love and care deeply for — would show some kind of remorse and try to mend the pain. Sometimes, however, neither of those things happen. And there’s a real psychological reason. On his blog “Guy Stuff,” marriage and family therapist Kurt Smith discusses the re...