Skip to main content

The Science Of A Broken Heart


Unrequited loveA 2012 study published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science found physical and social pain have a lot in common. Researchers compared the brain activity of those who experienced social rejection to those who experienced physical pain and found similarities between the two images. This suggested something like a broken heart is processed in the same part of your brain that handles the sensory component of pain.

What’s more is a study published in Molecular Psychiatry found the brain’s natural painkiller system responds to social rejection in the same way it does to physical injury. Researchers also found people who scored higher on a personality test for resilience received the highest amount of natural painkiller activation.
“I have seen that people who are higher in resilience tend to naturally make more adaptive interpretations to rejection,” Dr. Ben Michaelis, a clinical psychologist and speaker based in New York City, told Medical Daily in an e-mail. “Those who are lower in resilience may need more help in interpreting these experiences and that's where Phillips's work and good cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT] can come in to help.”
As defined by the Beck Institute, CBT is one of the few forms of psychotherapy that has been scientifically tested and found to be effective in hundreds of clinical trials for many different disorders. It’s based on the cognitive model: “the way we perceived situations influences how we feel moetionally…it is not a situation that directly affects how people feel emotionally, but rather, their thoughts in that situation.” CBT can also help patients identify their distressing thoughts and evaluate how realistic their thoughts are.
“Unrequited love keeps you in a reward cycle of passionate love. It gives you a little satisfaction that can trigger a craving for more,” Phillips said. Eventually, she added, you have to redirect your brain from emotional action. CBT can help here, but so can your friends. Phillips found women especially benefits from taking a class or hanging out with their girlfriends.
“I don’t want to make that sound easy; it’s brutal. It’s so hard to do this, and that’s why it’s a good idea to get professional help, especially if it's interfering with your daily function and you’re doing things you know you shouldn’t do.”
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular

The Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Guide to Solving Relationship Problems

Hello there, friend. What’s that I hear? You’re pissed off at someone? Someone is pissed off at you? You have a fight in your life and you don’t know what to do? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Whether it’s with your mom, your aunt, your best friend Stan, or maybe even the mailman, I’ve got the solution to all your relationship problems! Below is a “Choose Your Own Adventure” for resolving your conflict. Yes, my friend, your conflict is an adventure. A rage-infused shit-festering adventure full of four-letter words and smashed cell phone screens, I’m sure. But an adventure nonetheless. Simply start with the first question below and navigate yourself to the end. By the end, you’ll know exactly what to do about your conflict. If not, well then fuck you, buddy: How I usually handle conflict. But even if there’s not a flaming dumpster fire of a relationship in your life right now, reading through each decision tree is still a worthwhile exercise in not being a terrible hu...
Post a Comment
Read more

WHY BEING AN ASSHOLE CAN BE A VALUABLE LIFE SKILL

Eighty years ago, researchers began one of the longest and most complicated projects to understand human behavior in history. It would take almost 50 years to complete. But their work would define an entire field of psychology. It started with an idea: that people have different fundamental character traits and these character traits are inherited and stable throughout one’s life. It was the idea of personality. The problem was that there was an infinite number of human behaviors, so how could you know what was caused by someone’s personality, and what was caused by all the shit going on around them? To test and find stable personality traits, researchers would have to make an exhaustive list of all of the possible human behaviors and then measure these behaviors in a lot of people over a very long time to determine what was fundamental personality and what was just noise and bullshit. The project started out humbly enough. In 1936, Gordon Allport and Henry Odbert pulled out a...
Post a Comment
Read more

HAPPINESS IS NOT ENOUGH

Y ears ago, I knew one of those guys who seemed to always be happy and excited. He was always just that bundle of warm fuzzies. First to give you a hug. Always happy to see you. Complimented you about things that had no business being complimented. We’ll call him ‘Jon.’ Jon was like a dog, one of those rare people whose enthusiasm and unbridled joy is so unceasing that it actually becomes a little irritating at times. “Can you, just like… hate life a little?” I used to think to myself. And no, I wasn’t wearing eyeliner. Alas, it never happened. And I felt like an asshole for having such thoughts. I was just jealous, I decided. Or maybe worse: a bad person. But I never felt like a bad person for that long, because Jon was so damn fun and engaging, that you couldn’t help but be lifted up by his spirits. He always wanted to know what was going on in your life. He was always encouraging. He was always happy for you and proud of you, even when you weren’t happy or proud of yourself. ...
Post a Comment
Read more